Tending the Garden

It looked like today was going to be a semi-unproductive day, but then the Hubs awoke from his midday couch slumber and agreed to make a trip to the garden center (insert lots of crazy cheering). An hour or so later, we were driving home with a truck full of soil, mulch, and assorted plants. My daughter and I had fun planning out the front garden, an area that has largely fallen into sad barrenness and really could use a lift. We decided upon a purple and pink flower theme, because it's a pretty combination and has a mystical sort of feel. Tomorrow will be the day of dirt; we'll be turning up the old bed, cheering up a tired section of the front yard. I'm looking forward to the smell of soil and the feel of fresh dirt under my nails.

On a sadder note, our neighbors will be moving to California soon. Standing out front this afternoon, talking with my fellow mommy of several years now, I got the update, and it wasn't the one I wanted, the one that said they'd made a terrible mistake and had decided to stay. No, this was an update filling me in on a much too soon move date and creating images in my head of tearful little girl good-byes. And tearful grown up good-byes too. I hate good-byes.

Less Fear in the New Year

I'm not a big believer in New Year's resolutions.  I feel like placing the tag "resolution" on anything pretty much renders me into a state of sure failure in the long run.  On the other hand, I'm a huge believer in New Year's goals.  While some of us (me included) ushered the spiritual new year in three or so months ago, something about the start of a fresh secular year feels magical, full of possibility and the potential for change.  It's a good time to look at the goals I began jotting down in October and begin taking positive action in the direction of birthing them to reality.  I feel a special stirring this year, an urgency to really push forward.  I'm tired of the place I'm at spiritually and even socially, and feel a deep need to shake myself out of the rut I've been mired within and start heading for new meadows. 

Last year, I made a promise to myself that I'd begin stepping out of my comfort zone a bit, trying new things that I'd been wanting to do but had still not ventured into.  I feel like I accomplished that to a certain degree, but this year I'd like to go even farther with that.  I'm not talking about anything crazy.  I don't anticipate any bungee jumping or base gliding in the coming months.  What I am talking about is, quite simply, more "yes".  More commitment to plans, goals, dreams, friends, groups in whom I've been interested, homeschooling adventures that look like fun.  Less commitment to fear and hesitancy, my two worst enemies and the saboteurs of many a wild dream.  I've realized over the years that, when making a plan, the word "yes" is oftentimes the crucial ingredient in making things happen, followed by the word "now".  How often do we tell ourselves we'll try some new activity or even engage in a favored old one, but put it off until soon months have passed and we're still in the planning and hoping stages? This year, I'd like to speak more "nows" and fewer "laters".  Later didn't take me far enough last year, and fear kept me from really diving into life. Some of the fears were of my own creation, while others were ones I allowed others to place across my shoulders, but no matter what land they rose from, they sewed a crop of failures that haunted me into December. At year's close, I found myself burdened with a pit of sadness in my soul for what could have been had I only stepped just a little bit further into semi-new territory. 

So this year is the Year of Now and The Year of Yes.  And, maybe Yes to Now?

Yuletide Cheer

I love this time of year, and not just because I live in Florida and the winter season usually carries relief from the sweltering heat which accompanies most of the year. I love it for the extra sparkle and light which seems to cover everything from the houses on our block to the light poles downtown. I also love it for the sparkle and light that accompanies the souls of my fellow human beings as they carefully choose special gifts for loves ones and give what they can to people who need a little (or a lot) of help this holiday season. Maybe it's my imagination, but I've noticed that the people around me this year seem a bit more willing to donate food, clothing, time- whatever they can to assist someone else who is spending the end of the year in a state of need. It's not a difficult thing to donate food and/clothing. There are dropoffs all over the place for both- our YMCA is sponsoring a food drive, our homeschool group collected food to donate at our Christmas party, and the local UU Church has an ongoing food drive to help our local community. Publix has food donation tickets that one may purchase to help benefit the hungry, Toys for Tots held it's annual toy run last weekend, and Calvary Chapel encouraged people to fill a shoebox with gifts for donation. I have observed people engaged in such acts of kindness this year, and it reminds me that I have so many gifts in my life that I have not earned. So many blessings fill my everyday, and I'm grateful for them all. I consider this and realize how much recognizing the gratitude in my heart makes me want to share the joy of the season with others. In sharing, the joy multiplies. Plus, I feel it's important to teach our child that giving of ourselves is vitally important when it comes to the health of our society, and to us as spiritual beings. In giving, my own gratitude is made larger and my pride shrunken. I'm humbled by the realization that I should be living in this giving spirit year-round. It shouldn't take a holiday to remind me. I know what one of my new year's goals is going to be in 2012.

The symbolism of the winter holidays are a bit different depending upon one's faith. For some, the lights of the menorah remind us that we should be ever increasing the light we bring into the world. For others it means the birthday of the Son, who came to bring peace, deliverance and light to a broken world in desperate need of grace. For some, it means the re-emergence of the sun, as the winter solstice arrives in the year's turning and our days slowly begin to lengthen. I hope that whatever you celebrate, you'll be sure to lend your light to the dark places which need illumination. And I hope you'll enjoy much sparkle and joy yourselves as another year moves toward closing and a new year is birthed.







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