Recently, I attended a Pagan class for kids with my daughter. I've never gone to anything of this sort before, mostly because I tend toward being slightly shy and have never had anyone to go with me. Lately, though, I've been feeling a real need for spiritual community, people with whom I can freely bring up the subjects of clairvoyance, Goddess religion, paranormal activity, etc. I found this group online and, since their meetings are held at a local Unitarian Universalist Church with which I am somewhat familiar, I figured that they were "on the level". I have experienced some difficulty finding activities for my daughter as far as homeschooling; most of the groups around here are Christian based, though that is beginning to change. My daughter, who tends toward being slightly shy like I am, seemed a bit apprehensive when we first arrived at the meeting, but, slowly, she warmed up a bit. With the guidance of the woman leading the group, we made Beltane flower garlands for our hair (there were three adults in attendance besides me), said a prayer for the fairie folk, and went through a guided meditation. Afterward, the kids went outside to leave a food offering for the Good People, then we returned inside to eat the goodies we'd brought (my daughter and I had made flower shaped cookies for the occasion). For my daughter, this meeting provided a first glimpse into the world of other witchy folk (besides her Mom!). For me, it provided a welcome relief from the everyday world, where there is so much misunderstanding when it comes to modern day witches/Pagans. Whereas in my everday life I'm sometimes anxious about wearing my pentacle in public, at this group I could talk about a certain dream I'd had recently-one in which I believed I'd been contacted by the deceased father of a dear friend who is in a lot of trouble-with complete understanding of those around me. These women believe as I do, have experienced things that I have which most people would not understand. Of course, with my excitement at meeting these women and their children also came a little bit of fear. What if they don't think I'm "witchy" enough? What if they don't like me? Blah blah blah. It's silly stuff, really, since I know who I am; while I'm far from being perfect (and what is perfect, anyway?), I try to live my life with an attitude of harming none, trying to make sure my actions are for the benefit of not only me, but of the world around me (and sometimes solely for the world around me, or for the people in my immediate world). I so dislike the insecurity that can rear its ugly head at moments like this, when I desire acceptance and approval. I haven't contacted the group again (they also have an adult group, for women, at their Temple) but intend to get in touch with the High Preistess for a "meet and greet". I think that once I get to know the women I will feel more at ease, less self conscious. For now, it's a bit overwhelming, this sudden acceptance by certain people of something that I feel so adjusted to keeping a secret in my daily life!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Feeling a Sense of Community
Recently, I attended a Pagan class for kids with my daughter. I've never gone to anything of this sort before, mostly because I tend toward being slightly shy and have never had anyone to go with me. Lately, though, I've been feeling a real need for spiritual community, people with whom I can freely bring up the subjects of clairvoyance, Goddess religion, paranormal activity, etc. I found this group online and, since their meetings are held at a local Unitarian Universalist Church with which I am somewhat familiar, I figured that they were "on the level". I have experienced some difficulty finding activities for my daughter as far as homeschooling; most of the groups around here are Christian based, though that is beginning to change. My daughter, who tends toward being slightly shy like I am, seemed a bit apprehensive when we first arrived at the meeting, but, slowly, she warmed up a bit. With the guidance of the woman leading the group, we made Beltane flower garlands for our hair (there were three adults in attendance besides me), said a prayer for the fairie folk, and went through a guided meditation. Afterward, the kids went outside to leave a food offering for the Good People, then we returned inside to eat the goodies we'd brought (my daughter and I had made flower shaped cookies for the occasion). For my daughter, this meeting provided a first glimpse into the world of other witchy folk (besides her Mom!). For me, it provided a welcome relief from the everyday world, where there is so much misunderstanding when it comes to modern day witches/Pagans. Whereas in my everday life I'm sometimes anxious about wearing my pentacle in public, at this group I could talk about a certain dream I'd had recently-one in which I believed I'd been contacted by the deceased father of a dear friend who is in a lot of trouble-with complete understanding of those around me. These women believe as I do, have experienced things that I have which most people would not understand. Of course, with my excitement at meeting these women and their children also came a little bit of fear. What if they don't think I'm "witchy" enough? What if they don't like me? Blah blah blah. It's silly stuff, really, since I know who I am; while I'm far from being perfect (and what is perfect, anyway?), I try to live my life with an attitude of harming none, trying to make sure my actions are for the benefit of not only me, but of the world around me (and sometimes solely for the world around me, or for the people in my immediate world). I so dislike the insecurity that can rear its ugly head at moments like this, when I desire acceptance and approval. I haven't contacted the group again (they also have an adult group, for women, at their Temple) but intend to get in touch with the High Preistess for a "meet and greet". I think that once I get to know the women I will feel more at ease, less self conscious. For now, it's a bit overwhelming, this sudden acceptance by certain people of something that I feel so adjusted to keeping a secret in my daily life!
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