Sunday in the Summer

I took these pictures in our garden this morning; I try to find ways to connect with the landscape around here, making every effort to feel peace and harmony with the natural world around me. Lately, I've been longing for the home I left in a way that almost makes me crazy. I long for smell of the boggy, salty air, the rolling dunes of Cape Cod beaches, the rocky shorelines. I long for the pine woods as well as the bustling streets of Boston, which always feels like a welcoming city to me in a way that no other city ever has. Recently, a friend of mine moved back home to Maine. I'm ecstatic for her, and just a little bit envious. I get tired of hearing people tell me that I live someplace where everyone else wants to live. If it's so great, why are so many people leaving? In the past few years, I've watched as friends and acquaintances have departed sunny Florida to live in Maine, Colorado, Georgia, New York, North Carolina, Massachusetts, Maryland, and New Jersey. Every few months, it seems, someone is telling me that they are moving someplace else. I don't mean to complain. I love our house, love my life with my little family, and have found things to love about South Florida (although the general population isn't one of them-I've found few friends here who have remained true, which has been a very sad experience). Being of the magickal persuasion, it's important for me to find a connection with the natural places around me, and I have occasionally found that link when we've traveled to local parks (there is one close by with a gorgeous live oak grove) and wooded areas. I can almost always tap into some sort of peace and feeling of belonging when I'm wandering around in the woodlands, although I find that peace is just a bit deeper when I'm walking (or running) through the old woodlands of my native New England. The energy there is so much different from what I feel here-maybe it just vibrates more harmoniously with my own energy. It's funny-when I was younger, I always talked about moving to California, or some such sunny and warm locale. Now that I'm older, I've found that most of what I've been searching for can be found in the very place I left. Somehow, that's tragically ironic.

Anyway, today I decided that it might be a good time to tap into the fairie energy in our gardens. Doing so might lessen the longing I feel for parts far away, as well as being a positive spiritual experience. I can teach our daughter a few things about the sidhe (what I've learned from books and past experience), and we can, side by side, continue to learn together.

Here's to joining in the great dance of life!

Lots of New Things Going On

I haven't been here for awhile due to the fact that I've been so busy with life and have had little time for sitting and writing on the computer. I do enjoy visiting here, though, and decided that tonight I would check out Blogger in spite of having other things I should be doing (insert deep sigh). Recently, my family and I added a white German Shepherd to our family. Already we are deeply in love with him and it seems as though he's been with us for more than the two weeks he's lived in our home. He is so sweet, affectionate, smart and cute. I have pictures but have yet to upload them (due to time constraints). I will post some as soon as I'm able to get them into my computer! Part of the reason for my absence has been his arrival; because he's a puppy, I've been busy with house training (which has been rough going some days, though it's getting better, with fewer accidents), playing, and just generally getting to know him with my daughter and husband. For the first week, my daughter and I didn't go out much because we wanted him to feel secure in his new place. This week things around here have been more relaxed. We even went out today for an hour and left him in the living room (with all of the doors to the other room shut). He didn't eat anything inappropriate, but I don't think I'd be daring enough to leave him in such an open space for more than an hour or so at this point in time. I have a "safe room" for him, but he hates being in there. I think he gets bored, since there is nothing in that room except his crate and a few toys (when we go out and I do leave him in there). He tends to go nuts when I leave him in there, while when we just go out and leave him in the living room he's calm when we leave as well as when we return. There will be much adjusting and feeling things out as the days and weeks progress!

As far as our new home, things have been going well here. We are all settled in, unpacked and beginning to enjoy living in a home with more room to stretch and grow. The only strange occurance that I've experienced is some drawers in my daughter's room being pulled out. Twice I've gone into her room to find that the drawers on her bunk bed have been pulled out to various distances. She swears that she is not the one who has been pulling them out and I can't think of any way they could be getting pulled out through natural means. I thought that maybe the cat was climbing up that side of the bed but upon examination I don't think this would be possible. When she climbs up to the top bunk to sleep she uses the ladder like we do. Other than this, nothing strange has happened. This occurance alone is enough for me for now, though. Maybe some normal explanation will arise. Or not.

Feeling a Sense of Community

Recently, I attended a Pagan class for kids with my daughter. I've never gone to anything of this sort before, mostly because I tend toward being slightly shy and have never had anyone to go with me. Lately, though, I've been feeling a real need for spiritual community, people with whom I can freely bring up the subjects of clairvoyance, Goddess religion, paranormal activity, etc. I found this group online and, since their meetings are held at a local Unitarian Universalist Church with which I am somewhat familiar, I figured that they were "on the level". I have experienced some difficulty finding activities for my daughter as far as homeschooling; most of the groups around here are Christian based, though that is beginning to change. My daughter, who tends toward being slightly shy like I am, seemed a bit apprehensive when we first arrived at the meeting, but, slowly, she warmed up a bit. With the guidance of the woman leading the group, we made Beltane flower garlands for our hair (there were three adults in attendance besides me), said a prayer for the fairie folk, and went through a guided meditation. Afterward, the kids went outside to leave a food offering for the Good People, then we returned inside to eat the goodies we'd brought (my daughter and I had made flower shaped cookies for the occasion). For my daughter, this meeting provided a first glimpse into the world of other witchy folk (besides her Mom!). For me, it provided a welcome relief from the everyday world, where there is so much misunderstanding when it comes to modern day witches/Pagans. Whereas in my everday life I'm sometimes anxious about wearing my pentacle in public, at this group I could talk about a certain dream I'd had recently-one in which I believed I'd been contacted by the deceased father of a dear friend who is in a lot of trouble-with complete understanding of those around me. These women believe as I do, have experienced things that I have which most people would not understand. Of course, with my excitement at meeting these women and their children also came a little bit of fear. What if they don't think I'm "witchy" enough? What if they don't like me? Blah blah blah. It's silly stuff, really, since I know who I am; while I'm far from being perfect (and what is perfect, anyway?), I try to live my life with an attitude of harming none, trying to make sure my actions are for the benefit of not only me, but of the world around me (and sometimes solely for the world around me, or for the people in my immediate world). I so dislike the insecurity that can rear its ugly head at moments like this, when I desire acceptance and approval. I haven't contacted the group again (they also have an adult group, for women, at their Temple) but intend to get in touch with the High Preistess for a "meet and greet". I think that once I get to know the women I will feel more at ease, less self conscious. For now, it's a bit overwhelming, this sudden acceptance by certain people of something that I feel so adjusted to keeping a secret in my daily life!