Oh Well

I'm here, posting, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe posting in a blog is just a cathartic thing for me. I do find that writing helps me to sort out my thoughts. It's always been something I've done that's felt natural. Perhaps I should pursue it a bit harder. 

I realized last night that I'm not sure about much of anything anymore. I don't know what's real in my life. I don't know who I could truly count on if I needed support, aside from maybe one or two people, and they aren't anywhere in close proximity.  I feel profoundly sad and defeated today. I've been called selfish for voicing my opinions and desires for the future.  Maybe I am; I'm not sure.  I just felt like honesty was the best policy, that nobody gets where they truly want to be unless they voice their thoughts.  

Maybe I should temper my thoughts a little, though. Maybe I should hold them tightly within like a secret best kept hidden in a brightly jeweled treasure chest.  Maybe more will be revealed as the hours pass today and things are said, and love threads through the minutes.  For now, silence seems the best option for me. And contemplation. And maybe a hot shower.