I've been a huge fan of the television show, Paranormal State, since it's beginning on A&E. Sometimes the shows give me pause, as did the one I watched last night. The program documented the possession of a young girl, as well as the suicide of another woman who is believe to have been visited by the same spirit/demon by whom Ryan Buell and his team were confronted at the home of the former. Due in part to my lifelong religious pondering and my current spiritual practices, cases such as these disturb me deeply. What are demons? Do they come from some shadowy other world or are they discontented spirits who thrive on the fear of the people they torment? In my spiritual path, people generally do not believe in a Satan figure, nor do we believe in hell. I do, however, believe that there are negative entities out there, demons, if you will. Furthermore, I'm not sure what happens to the people in our world who commit hideous acts of evil after they cross over. The rational side of me says that there has to be some sort of penance; one cannot spend a whole life doing wrong and then live in an afterlife of paradise, right? Or, maybe, those spirits go around in another cycle of life, learning in the next life what they did not learn in the previous. My little family and I are in the midst of moving from our current abode. In the recent past, I've experienced some disturbing occurrences here, but I began "blocking" because, as someone with little experience in how to deal with restless spirits, I feel it would be too easy for me to get into some sort of trouble. I know people who have dabbled in the paranormal, only to have spirits attach to them and wreak havoc in their lives. At least in part because I have a small child, I do not want to invite this sort of problem into my own life. Lately, I've been feeling as though whoever is here is attempting to make himself known again (I say him, because I've been feeling a male presence). I will look up from a book or a journal to see a quick flash of someone who appears completely white, but the vision disappears before I can discern any features. I am not one prone to hallucinations and I do not drink or partake in drugs, so these instances have left me feeling a bit shaken.
As a bit of background, shortly after I moved into our townhouse I found out through the proverbial grapevine that a man and woman who lived across the street had died a few years ago in a murder suicide. For whatever reason, I'd assumed that the man had killed his wife and then himself. I tried to find some information online with regard to the couple, but came up empty handed and eventually stopped researching the tragedy. Then, my daughter began having nightmares . I did a complete house blessing and the nightmares ceased. A short time later, I was meditating when I felt the presence of a man and woman; the man seemed to be very angry but I had no idea why. Automatically, I thought of the couple across the street and in my mind wished them peace. The woman's spirit seemed to be very distraught, as if she'd done something horrible during her time here on earth for which she now had no recourse to correct. I was confused and thought that maybe it was not the spirit of the couple across the street, or that maybe I was just imagining the whole thing. Again, I just assumed that the man was the murderer; I suppose I've been conditioned by the evening news to always view the man as the aggressor, in spite of the fact that this is not always the situation. The man seemed to become enraged when I offered the woman some measure of forgiveness, when I told her it was okay to be at peace and move on. A little while later I was taking a shower when I had a vision of a man on his knees, basically pleading for his life while someone I could not see pointed a gun at him. I figured this vision was the result of watching too many Cold Case Files episodes and dismissed it. I did, however, conduct another online research with regard to the couple across the street, and this time I came up with some eye opening information. According to newspaper articles, the woman had shot the man and then herself. Chills ran up my spine as I read this; suddenly, all of the information I'd received during my contact with these spirits became clear. It was then that I realized I was in way over my head and needed to cease all contact. I didn't feel I knew enough to help them and was frightened by the level of rage I felt in the male entity. I did have the impression that he wanted me to know exactly what had happened to him, and that he did not want to die at the time his life was taken. The whole experience was extremely emotional and upsetting for me, as I'd no idea how to help bring him peace. I'm wondering if now that we are leaving his spirit is attempting to make contact again; I've read that when an earthbound spirit knows a living person is aware of his or her presence, the desire to make contact will be strong. It's sad to think that I might have been able to help him but didn't because I was afraid. I am, however, a bit afraid. Any suggestions or help anyone can offer (constructive, please-no negative commentary from those of you who think paranormal activity is bunch of crap; I've had too many experiences to believe that everything strange that happens can be explained away by scientific research, and I always search for the logical explanation prior to assuming that anything is paranormally related) would be appreciated (though I don't think too many people know or read my little blog so I don't expect to receive too many answers)!
Peace.
