Trust

Trust is the word I keep trying to focus on: trust the process, trust the Great Spirit, God/Goddess who guides us. I trust my husband, my family, and a few friends, but lately I'm still overwhelmed by fear and bogged down by frustration. I keep praying and each day I hear that same voice, telling me to trust the process, keep trying to do the right thing, keep living life actively, one step at a time.

Truthfully, nothing is so bad as to be unsurmountable. I was inturrupted in the midst of writing this several days ago. In the time that has passed, I learned that a friend of several years has lung cancer and that a close friend might have a heart condition. Just a moment ago, I learned that an old high school boyfriend just finished up chemotherapy in February and is, so far, cancer free (insert much cheering and dancing). I've gained perspective over the past few days, and have been trying to focus on gratitude and positive action.

Spring Equinox festivities took place at our local UU Church last weekend, and my daughter and I joined in for a wonderful night of heartfelt celebration. Watching my little one dance around the bonfire in her butterfly wings, so free and happy, lifted my heart as if it too had wings. I was invited to join in the ritual and felt truly honored to be given the priviledge. It was an inspiring, fun night and I was glad I took my daughter and attended. I can recall so many times in the past when I haven't, for various reasons (none of them very good), gone to events such as this, then regretted being afraid to put myself out there. This is the year of "yes"! I needed to go to this for my own spirit, and I needed to go so that Sparkle Girl could experience the joy of the Equinox too.

I worked on the garden this afternoon, nestling some new flowers into fresh, rich soil. It took longer than expected (doesn't this sort of thing always take longer than we project they will?) but it felt good to dig my hands into the dirt and to finally get the front garden planted. There is still work to do around the yard, but the joy in gardening is at least partly in the creating stages, and I'm looking forward to more planning and getting dirty.

I feel better today, more positively minded and able to focus and work toward what I feel are some necessary changes. I don't know what all of the solutions will be, but at least I'm taking some productive steps.




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