Getting Ready for Our Trip to LA

It's a busy Monday here today. I'm multi-tasking as usual, blogging, eating lunch, making phone calls. It's my goal to have all the loose ends of our business tied up before we leave. I don't want to be in Louisiana worrying that something isn't right here in Florida. A reflection of the tough economic times, the liability insurance carrier we were using went bankrupt; we need to carry liability insurance in order to operate. This means that I need to have another carrier in place as soon as possible, so that when a new permit needs to be issued or a contractor calls to ask us to send them a copy of the certificate, we're legal. This is a frustrating turn of events, since we just recently became clients of said bankrupt company. I'm sure they were aware of the dire straits their company was in; I'm not sure whether our agent had any idea. I'm also unsure as to whether we will ever receive back any of the money we paid to the insurance carrier. Whatever the case, I'm hoping to have at least part of this issue resolved by day's end today.

Also on today's agenda is a trip to the library with my little one. She has been patient with me thus far, but we will need to get out of the house soon. We have books that are due back, and I'd like to borrow some new ones before our trip. I'm not crazy about my most recently borrowed two books (they aren't as informational as I'd hoped they'd be), and we've read all of my little one's books several times over. I have most of my paperwork completed. The only thing standing in the way between us and the door is this nasty little liability insurance issue.

A grey squirrel just ran along our back fence, happily basking in the sunshine. Wouldn't it be nice to be a squirrel just for one day? Provided you didn't run into a pack of hungry dogs, it would be such a happy, carefree afternoon!

A Few Thoughts on Wednesday

I found these pretty wildflowers growing in our backyard last week and decided to take a few pictures before they were eaten by iguanas, discovered by the dog, or mowed down by the mower. The did survive both the dog and the iguana tribe, but the lawn mower got them yesterday. I would have mowed around them, but most lawn mowing men care not for pretty little wildflowers. For me, they brightened my morning and I'm grateful for having spied them through the dining room window. Perhaps they will sprout up again.

The below picture is a jar of caterpillars we discovered munching on a tree near our house. We captured them just in time for said tree to be sprayed with some sort of repellant, possibly saving their lives and giving them a chance to grow into moths. Tetrio Sphinx moths, to be exact. I'm not sure we'll be able to satisfy their voracious appetite; they eat about three leaves per day apeice, and I can't supply them with so many leaves per day. They the leaves of plumeria trees, which we have none of in our yard. Feeding them involves sneaking into a local church yard and plucking them off the tree, and this I cannot do every day as I'm not near the church. Plus, I might draw a bit of suspicion if I keep creeping into the church yard each day. I don't exactly attend church there.

And, that's my peice for today. I haven't really accomplished much, and I feel very guilty about that. Some days it's hard to get motivated, and this was one of those days.

What to Do...

My husband just called, having received a phone call from the friend I mentioned in the post below. Apparently, she is hanging out at a convenient store near the beach; she is homeless and was calling him for help, but he's working and is just generally tired of dealing with this sort of thing. Lots of people are having this reaction, as she (I will call her Holly for the sake of posting, but her real name, I feel, should remain anonymous) has received help in the past from many, including her friends and family, only to turn around a week or a month or a few months later and drink/use again. No one is sure what to do anymore, but I feel horrible about not doing anything. This girl is like a sister to me. It tears me up inside to think of her sitting alone on a sidewalk someplace. I have a small child and I have to think of her well being before I consider the needs of anybody else. That's the crux of this situation for me; I can't do anything that will jeopardize my child's mental or physical health. This leaves me, in this case, with few options. I can't bring her into our home. I can't go to her right now, by myself with my daughter. I can't even call her, since I don't have a phone number for her. At best, I could drive down to the beach and try to find her, but then what??? If I can't take her anyplace, what can I do? I spend lots of time talking about how I've met few people here in South Florida who are real friends, or who are even real friend material. There are a few people in whom I place great faith and trust, but they are like jewels in beach sand-precious and difficult to find. There are lots of sparkly stones but not many gems. I've put lots of prayers out there; I hope that one of them gives me (or Holly) the answer that's needed to truly help her.

On the other side of the full moon...

It could be coincidence, but I've noticed as of late that I seem to be more energetic and optimistic during the waxing moon phase than during the waning. While there may be nothing to this observation, it could also be true that I'm doing much better during the creative phase of life than during the phase of removal, undoing and banishing. I find this interesting, though now I'm also wondering if my newly found energy and determination is going to wane with the moon, until it becomes a little sliver and disappears into the darkness. I don't believe this must be so; I am focusing on this time as a time of removing obstacles to my success, of working away from the character defects which hold me back from my fullest potential. Possibly, it's how we look at life which creates a shift, sometimes.

On another note, I was saddened again over this past week by the struggles of a very close friend. Once again, she is succumbing to an addiction which doesn't seem ready to let her loose. Once again, I feel powerless to help her. The last time she fell off into the deep end of the river I tried to help her, both by remaining in contact and petitioning for her spiritually. I believe strongly in free will, however, and I'm not sure how much we're allowed to meddle in that, even if we believe that it's for the good of the person who is in trouble. I've also seen how the strength of will can sometimes overpower any other energy which attempts to swallow it up. Simply put, my friend needs to be willing and ready for help in order for that help to be fruitfull. So, a few mornings ago, I sat out on the dock in our back yard and whispered a prayer. As I sat quietly, a large crow glided effortlessly along the wind currents over the lake and landed out of my view in the arms of a great tree on the other side of the water. Two other, smaller, crows alighted on the branch of another tree, this one on my side of the lake and only a few feet away. They remained there as I sat in a sort of meditation; it seemed as though they were looking down at me as I was looking up at them. I was overcome with a feeling of belonging to the Great Song of life, the Oran Mor, and it felt wonderful. A sense of peace washed over me from head to toe and into my very soul. All of the colors around me vibrated with life and I noticed rays of light emanating from springs below the dark surface of the water.

I don't know what will happen over the next few days. As I type, my friend's boyfriend is making plans to head back up north. He can't remain here watching her hurt herself and I can't place any blame on him for that. I hope for the best for both of them, and I will continue to wait, to see if there is anything more I can do for her. The Universe has a way of speaking to us, if only we are open to hearing Her voice. Sometimes, it's a boom like thunder or the sound of jet engine. Sometimes, though, it's soft, like the air passing between the irridenscent feathers of a crow's wings.

Another Fun Saturday

I haven't posted in a little while, mostly because I've been so busy with trying to get myself organized for our upcoming school year (we start homeschool kindergarten this year!!), trying to further my spiritual life, and contemplating just how it is I'm going to start a new art project. I really really need to get back into some creative activities. I remember reading something that Van Gogh once said about how painters have to paint; there isn't a real choice-they paint or they suffer horribly for not doing so. That statement rang true for me when I first read it, and at no time in my life has it felt more real than now, when time is in short commodity and staying centered and focused is usually challenging, at best. Add to my artistic angst a deep seated need I've been assaulted with lately, a need to connect with other witchy women. I suppose that "assault" isn't really a good word to desribe this need. It's more of a nudge. As soon as I realized that I was ready to truly dedicate my life in the direction of the Goddess, I became endowed with a deep desire to live the truth of this path in my life. This is easier when one is involved with a good group of women with whom to share parts of this journey. Since our way of life is not the norm, having others with whom to laugh, tell stories, share experiences (both good and bad), work rituals, etc., is such a valuable thing. Recently, I contacted a local temple, but I have not received a response back with regard to meeting the women there. I know that when the time is right, the group that is best for me, and for whom I'm going to best, will show itself.

For now, I have a popped balloon crisis to deal with. It seems that our German Shepherd puppy thinks breaking balloons with his sharp new teeth is great fun. Unfortunately, my little daughter does not enjoy this type of revelry!!!!