It could be coincidence, but I've noticed as of late that I seem to be more energetic and optimistic during the waxing moon phase than during the waning. While there may be nothing to this observation, it could also be true that I'm doing much better during the creative phase of life than during the phase of removal, undoing and banishing. I find this interesting, though now I'm also wondering if my newly found energy and determination is going to wane with the moon, until it becomes a little sliver and disappears into the darkness. I don't believe this must be so; I am focusing on this time as a time of removing obstacles to my success, of working away from the character defects which hold me back from my fullest potential. Possibly, it's how we look at life which creates a shift, sometimes.
On another note, I was saddened again over this past week by the struggles of a very close friend. Once again, she is succumbing to an addiction which doesn't seem ready to let her loose. Once again, I feel powerless to help her. The last time she fell off into the deep end of the river I tried to help her, both by remaining in contact and petitioning for her spiritually. I believe strongly in free will, however, and I'm not sure how much we're allowed to meddle in that, even if we believe that it's for the good of the person who is in trouble. I've also seen how the strength of will can sometimes overpower any other energy which attempts to swallow it up. Simply put, my friend needs to be willing and ready for help in order for that help to be fruitfull. So, a few mornings ago, I sat out on the dock in our back yard and whispered a prayer. As I sat quietly, a large crow glided effortlessly along the wind currents over the lake and landed out of my view in the arms of a great tree on the other side of the water. Two other, smaller, crows alighted on the branch of another tree, this one on my side of the lake and only a few feet away. They remained there as I sat in a sort of meditation; it seemed as though they were looking down at me as I was looking up at them. I was overcome with a feeling of belonging to the Great Song of life, the Oran Mor, and it felt wonderful. A sense of peace washed over me from head to toe and into my very soul. All of the colors around me vibrated with life and I noticed rays of light emanating from springs below the dark surface of the water.
I don't know what will happen over the next few days. As I type, my friend's boyfriend is making plans to head back up north. He can't remain here watching her hurt herself and I can't place any blame on him for that. I hope for the best for both of them, and I will continue to wait, to see if there is anything more I can do for her. The Universe has a way of speaking to us, if only we are open to hearing Her voice. Sometimes, it's a boom like thunder or the sound of jet engine. Sometimes, though, it's soft, like the air passing between the irridenscent feathers of a crow's wings.
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