Back to the Real World!

We've been back in Florida for a mere three days, and already I'm teetering over the ledge of Overwhelmdom. I'm fighting to stay sane amidst the chaos, though, and finding help wherever it appears to me in my daily readings. This morning I read something which reminded me that keeping a gratitude list and finding daily life stuff to add each day is a priceless and peace inducing endeavor. My own gratitude journal has sat unattended on the kitchen bar for several days, just waiting for me to scrabble pen across page. I really need to start that back up again, because seeking blessing in each day helps me to reframe the events of every twenty four hours. It's a wonderful activity, and sometimes the craziness of life takes me away from it. I need to make a conscious decision to nudge myself back.

With fall fast approaching, the scent of Mabon is drifting through the air. I don't know if I'll make it to any of the community festivities, but I'm going to pull some books off the shelf and blow the dust off some recipes, crafts and such. I reconnected with my inner Goddess during my northward trip (funny how being home sometimes has the power to remind us of who we truly are), who gently reminded me to pay more attention to my outward Goddess as well. This lead to my daughter asking me why I pay attention to so many different spiritual traditions. I told her that I believe spiritual truths lay hidden in more than one place, that religions provide pathways to the Divine. Many will disagree, but I find myself troubled by the idea of only one group of people having the key to spirituality. It's been weighing on me, and I've missed my more rounded spiritual approach. I love honoring the different ancestral traditions which form the tapestry of my family. When I pull out one thread and discard it, the whole picture seems to turn grey and fall apart. I can't explain it, but time and again I've found this to be true.

And now, it's time to get rockin' and rollin' once again!!!! Homeschooling needs to happen, laundry must be attended to, artistic muses cry out for creativity, and I'm thankful for the blessing of having a high energy personality. Sometimes.



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Some Last Visits

It's Saturday, sunny, and warm. This morning my best friend came by to visit. He stayed to help us make a stepping stone with my daughter's handprint pressed in. Then he was on his way, and I was sad. Time passes too quickly, always, and the time gone can never be retrieved and relived. I'm in a melancholy mood today.

Tomorrow is 9/11, and the girl and I will be traveling. 'Tis a sad day for the events that took place; events that stole away loved ones and shook the foundations of our security. I'll be thinking about this more tomorrow, reflecting not only on the day but on the importance of not allowing one's heart to be hardened by the evil deeds of others. Evil tends to breed more evil when it's nurtured. We win, sometimes, by refusing to give in to that little voice within that whispers revenge. But it's not about winning, really. It's about breaking the cycle of pain.

May we all share love tomorrow, life thoughts rather than curses.

Sunny Day Funning

I know that "funning" isn't a word, but I make up words all the time and don't care. I think that part of being human is being creative, and why shouldn't that extend to words???

Today turned out to be one of those sunny summer New England days that I dream about when I'm up to my sweat dripping forehead in Florida in August. Or July. Or June. The swan boats were out, and we went for a ride with Grandma, serenaded all the while by a brave young woman whose soprano voice carried music across the Public Gardens. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was lodged firmly in my head for about an hour after the boat ride-an unfortunate side effect which sometimes occurs after encountering street performers.

And now...now I'm feeling a bit sad. I'm looking forward to getting home to see my hubs and our animal family. I'll be very glad to see my FL friends and to begin our new home school year and all of the activities that will bring. Still, there's this feeling in my gut, a longing in my spirit that tells me I belong here. It's impossible to ignore, for it's a "behind the scenes" sort of ache rather than an out loud, griping sort of thing. I'm focusing on the positive, but there's this feeling in my bones. I just don't know what to do about it. All I can do is keep on keepin' on. My fairy cards tell me to focus on my writing, and write away I will. Maybe that's my healing balm, or maybe that's my calling. Time will tell.

One of the local universities here is going to renovate this gorgeous old church for art classes:








They have a fantastic art therapy program here, which is a dream of mine, but even if I did live here it would be tough to do both that and to be the type of Mom I want to be.

But dreams are great motivators, aren't they?


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A Deep Breath in the Morning

I awoke this morning to chill, misty air. Outside, from the deck, I can hear the songs of crickets and other insects, calling happily to the new day. School buses and automobiles and trucks rumble past on the street nearby, barely visible through the trees and bushes.

I stand in the doorway of my mother's house, taking it all in and feeling my own spirit humming with the energy around me. A new day is here! I wonder what it will bring, and I want to engage it fully.




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More Rain

It rained all day yesterday, sometimes hard rain and other times just that misty stuff I always imagine when I think about London. I don't mind days like this, but I'm grateful for that sun I see poking out from behind the trees in the back yard here.

We mall shopped all day yesterday and, that said, I really cannot afford many more rainy days during our trip! It was a blast, though. I don't browse at the mall very often; it's always been something I've done with my Mom, and it's a treat when I go north to visit her. We slept in today, my daughter and I, and it looks like maybe we'll have more shopping time today, then, hopefully, sunnier weather tomorrow. I really would love to do our annual Boston trip before it's time to fly back to Florida.

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Enjoying the Compromise

The Universe has been sending me lots of messages lately about compromise. When planning this vacation, my head was filled with thoughts of doing the "traditional" things that we do while we're here in Mass. With the tropical storm and now, a few days of drizzly rain hanging over us (actually, it was pouring yesterday for awhile before the lighter rain began), plans have been altered a bit. The farmer's market probably isn't going to be among our stops today, but we will hopefully do our annual Boston trip on Friday.

When we flew up here I decided that, no matter what the weather did, we'd have fun, and we have. There have been sunnier days sprinkled into our time here so far, and even during the less (literally) powerful days we found places to eat hot food and enjoy a movie. Life is, indeed, what we make of it. Bad news about friends (one of whom suffered the premature death of her brother this week and another who has developed cancer, and a family member of mine who just passed away) has reminded me once again that life is short. We can choose the misery or try to find the joy where we can each day. Yesterday my Mom had to work, so Sparkle Fairy and I did art projects. First, we created sparkly painted flower magnets, then we designed a picture using foam flowers, butterflies and birds .




All the while, music sang away from the stereo in the den. We painted and plotted and stuck to James Taylor and then, later, to Celtic music. It was a great day in spite of our home bound state.

Today, it looks like the mall is calling. The drizzle persists and is showing no sign of letting up. It appears that we will, once again, be looking for joy in the comprise. But sometimes the best journeys are the ones unplanned.

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Hanging Out at Mom's

Ah, Massachusetts! After months of dreaming, I now find myself a week into my vacation with Sparkle Fairy and already sad at the thought of having to part from my New England homeland soon. Too soon. We arrived here just in time for the storm, but it seemed the energy of Irene only heightened my senses. I feel incredibly connected here and my nature girl instincts have been renewed. The Higher Power must, indeed be both mother and father, life and death.

This morning I spent some time pouring over Better Homes and Garden while pouring coffee happily down my gullet. Inspiration for fall decorating and celebrating abounds within these pages, and my own artistic muses are poking me in the shoulder. Of course, I keep trying to think of ways to turn my talents into a job that allows me to be home in MA more often. I really want to come home (have I mentioned that!). In the interim, I'm also seeking inspiration and ideas that will make Florida a more fun and happy experience. We'll be busy when we return, with a new homeschool year beginning and business (thankfully) booming.

We've done some fun things since we've been here, such as Roger Williams Zoo with my aunt. Some of the best moments, however, have been spent just talking with my Mum in her light filled kitchen. I'm so aware these days of times quick passage, which causes me to long for home even more. I wonder how many more of these precious visits we'll have. I feel almost desperate for time with my family, and once a year doesn't afford me the time I want and need to see every member.

We're on Tuesday now. The weather is gloomy, in touch with my saddened but hopeful spirit. Today I think we'll paint magnets with bright colors and sparkles- gifts for Mum when she returns home from work this evening. I'm focused on today, right now, and the journey of the next few hours.




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