A Wonderful New Week

I took a deep breath on Friday afternoon and decided that if I ever wanted to possess a deep sense of peace and contentment again, I needed to re-examine my priorities and stop sitting around pissing and moaning about everything that isn't as "quite right" as I'd like it to be. The truth is that I have much more to be grateful for than I have to bitch about, and sitting around in a black depression isn't helping my daughter, my husband, my friends or me. I'm the type of person who, once I've reached a point where I absolutely cannot stand myself anymore for my attitude, will do everything in my power to facilitate the change within (or changes) that's needed to change my outward situation. Keep in mind, however, that I have a high pain threshold. This is great when one is attending to childbirth or nursing a scraped knee. It's not so good when it comes to dealing with emotional issues which are wreaking havoc in my personal life.

So, on Sunday, I took Little One to her first Spiral Scouts meeting. We're not an official group yet; paperwork is being filed, information is being gathered, and uniforms are being purchased. A bunch of us moms and kids did get together at a local tea house and socialize, getting to know one another over crafts, trying to decide upon a name for our troupe, and browsing the beautifully magical merchandise that the cafe offers for sale. It was a nice day for all, I think, and I was excited to find out yesterday that the name I suggested for our group was chosen. I think it was Goddess inspired.

Little One loved the group. Because we homeschool (though we're just going into kindergarten homeschooling this September, so we're still very new to the scene), this sort of thing is great for her as far as socializing with other kids. She soaked up the interaction, and, later on, proudly told Daddy all about the craft she made.

Monday brought a visit to the craft store, where we purchased a foam castle kit which my girl put together with the help of her wonderfully attentive Daddy. While there I bought a pad of Bristol board and whispered a few words of gratitude at the fact that I already own a nice collection of Prismacolor pencils, which have become so expensive as to be almost beyond the reach of most of the artists I know. I made a decision that since it's very hard for me to find the time to paint right now, I'm going to dive back into colored pencil work, which is more portable and doesn't require any setting up. I already have a Goddess series in mind, inspired by the artwork of Mickie Mueller (her site is right here: http://www.mickiemuellerart.com/). After I bought the pad, I was overcome with a feeling of joy and excitement; I've needed an artistic outlet for a long time, and now I have a glimmer of hope. I feel like some positive changes are afoot, that the energy in my life is shifting. Of course, we are currently under the watch of a waxing moon, and for some reason it always seems to me that my attitude brightens during this moon phase.

It's amazing how much just getting out of one's desk chair, imbibing of the fresh air, and making a decision to, well, just MOVE can alter one's whole perspective on everything. For me, being a good mom is essential to my own serenity. If I feel I've failed at that on any given day, then nothing I've been successful at really makes me happy. Each day must be approached with a certain measure of balance. Some days this comes naturally; most days it requires a bit of work and a willingness to change the schedule if a situation arises which requires that I re-think my time frame. Today was not the best of days. I was stuck for the better part of the morning typing away at some invoices that need to go out if the bills are to be paid. The rest of the day was consumed by banking, going to the Post office, and more banking. It's incredible how quickly the hours fly by. We drove home in a rainstorm, but my attitude did not match the weather today. Instead, I commented to Little One about how great this water will be for our new flowers (which have yet to poke their little heads from the soil), as well as for all of the trees and plants in our area. My daughter chimed in that it would be great for creating big puddles in which to splash around. Yes!!! That's what life is about, I think-taking opportunities for experience and diving into them. Saying "yes" instead of "no". Taking the road less traveled. Finding the courage to create, even when the creativity doesn't seem to be flowing (as I feel today, sitting at the keyboard struggling for words that usually seem to pour forth like tea from a pitcher). For my whole life, that's what I've always wanted to do. I admire people who aren't afraid to jump into whatever it is that stirs their passions. Here's the opportunity, and I'm getting out of my seat.